2x4 reminders that we aren't in control

Day 44/45 

July 10-11, 2013

So... right about the time that we get big heads and think that we have everything under control in our lives (which admittedly is rare!), something or someone comes along with a 2x4 board and whacks us in the head.  It might or might not be a necessary reminder that we are not in control.  Saying that; everyone is fine; it's just been a nerve wracking two days.  Remember Tuesday that P was complaining about a sore throat during his up-dose appointment?  Well cue Wednesday morning, and he takes his 50mg dose at home and off he and Dad go to speech therapy.  I get a very nervous call from Daniel at about 9am - Patrick is saying he's going to throw up, and that his tummy hurts and his throat hurts.  Daniel and I both race home trying to get there before he gets sick.  We don't make it quite that far, Patrick throws up in a bag in the car.  Hooray for an age where there is some control/ability to aim!!  We'll take our silver linings wherever we can get them thank you very much!  So we both get home and Daniel calls the allergist who calls us several times over the next hour to discuss symptoms and what to do.  (This happened within the two hour window when the dose was given).  Patrick has a notoriously sensitive stomach and gags easily, so snot related vomit is not an unusual thing in our house, but he didn't seem at all snotty or sick otherwise.  We can't always tell if something is just snot or if he's sick, or in this case if it was allergen related.

There is no fear like staring down your child worrying that they might suddenly have breathing problems (again).  We've been down this road before both with allergy exposure and asthma, and it's heart stopping as a parent to watch them struggle to just BREATHE.  So all was well, but it was an adrenaline high nervous couple of hours.  Patrick had no idea, we tend to get in this eerily calm mode of do what must be done, no nonsense, no emotion, don't show fear…  My brain only freaks out hours later when everything is fine.

The good news is that he had no other symptoms other than upset stomach and sore throat.  He could swallow (we checked), and seemed happy playing with toys/electronics but complained now and then.  This went on until lunchtime when he finally said he was feeling better.  Given what he ate for lunch, he clearly felt a LOT better.  He ate a full size sandwich and asked for more food.  We agreed with the allergist that Thursday's dose needed to happen in the office so they could keep an eye on him in case this happens again.  

I didn't realize how frazzled I was until I took a break to go to the pet store and drove past it multiple times, and then two different friends told me to stop trying to work for a while and take a break to calm my brain.  Sometimes we all need reminders to stop spinning aimlessly and sit still so we can then process what's happened and let go.

Now it's Thursday morning, and we're back in the allergist's office going stir crazy.  The doc checked out Patrick and he seems totally fine, and then we gave him his dose and we're waiting out the two hour window in the office.  The nurse stopped in to tell me to try to take these in stride, as this happens with every patient doing desensitization at some point.  I'm not sure why but it was reassuring and heartfelt, maybe just another human being saying I know it's scary, but it's ok.  This has been a nutty week, but we will keep faith that we are doing the right thing and that we (as a village) can keep him safe and make this work.  It sounds trivial, but it was a scary day yesterday.  Thanks for the good folks who lent an ear/hug/sanity check/prayer!